Smile Big

I could not decide what to title this post.  It could have been one of a million things. The Little Things also came to mind but I have given myself 10 minutes to spew some thoughts onto a page so there is little time to waste worrying about the title. This post was inspired by today’s workout.  The workout itself is meaningless but for informational purposes it was a 50 mile bike followed by a 13.1 mile run off of the bike.  It was the things I noticed during the workout which were of importance.  They were reinforcements to why I love endurance sports and it was a personal reminder of all the things I try to teach.

My bike ride came first and I am not usually one to look around and take notice of my surroundings while working out but today everything seemed to be going in slow motion.  It was a HR1 workout, which I hit minus some steeper climbs.  I let myself stay in zone 1 without any regard for the pace……….truth be told I removed the pace completely from my watch to make sure I just chilled out.  What I noticed were a ton of people out walking and running and biking.  There were young kids.  There were old people like me (tough to admit this!) and there were folks probably greater than 80 out making it happen.  Some were fast.  Some were slow.  Some were barely moving but that is the beauty of what we do.  Running and biking means something to everyone with complete disregard for pace.  Endurance sports shows no bias.  Everyone can get out there and set a personal record.  Everyone can push farther today than they did yesterday.  Everyone can push through their struggles and injuries and doubts and get in the miles.  It is a beautiful thing.

Now to the run. I am a sappy dude. If you have followed any of my writings you are crystal clear on this fact.  Today was an emotional run for me.  It was amazing.  I have been dealing with foot pain. It has put some doubts in my head about how long I can continue to run long.  Today off the bike I had a 12 mile run.  I was sore tied to a 23 mile run yesterday and tied to the bike ride and, of course, this nagging foot pain.  The run was a zone 1 workout like the bike, which was a good thing as it was starting to get fairly warm.  I was not sure where I was going to head today and, for whatever reason, it took all I had to take that first step. I began running through the neighborhood near my house.  I can run switchbacks through this one section that lands me at 6 miles.  I did this as part of yesterdays run and I actually do it often when I do not feel like dealing with traffic. Out and back would get me to my 12 miles but I figured I would mix it up when I got to the 6 mile mark.  Little did I know one special needs adult would change my plan.  The picture below will show the switchbacks I ran.  

Running straight through the middle of these switchbacks is another road……it would be the one mile shortcut to my turnaround (i.e. I am never more than a mile from my house with this 12 mile run).  While I run a mile (basically an out and back), someone could just walk one block to get to the same place.  Anyway, early in the run, I noticed this guy standing on the corner of the block down this middle road.  He would rock back and forth a little bit tied to whatever condition he is dealing with. I would keep going to the end of the switchback, make my turn down the next road and there he would be waiting at the corner.  He looked like he was trying to act as if it was a coincidence every time but I decided to go a different direction.  Every time I got to him, I would wave and say ‘hey buddy’.  He would just give a shy smile and we would part ways for another mile.  I kept thinking this would stop soon and I was not sure how far he would get from his house…..was his comfort zone 2 blocks or 10 blocks.  I also had no idea how he knew what I was doing other than I run here all the time and have done so for years.  Maybe he noticed.  Anyway, I was tired.  My feet were sore but as long as this guy was going to make the effort to get to the next block, I was going to make the effort to run that next mile.  I hit the half way point and made my turn for home.  I was wondering if he would know to turn and go the other direction but I should not have had a doubt……..one mile later he was there…….’Hey buddy’.  I felt like a had a fan and I was not going to let this one down.  Amazingly I stayed in HR1 through mile 11.  It was then that I decided to pick it up a bit and extend my workout to hit 13.1 miles.  I saw him with about 2 miles to go and I told him…..”almost home”.  At mile 12 I told him ‘Last One. Thanks buddy. You saved me today’ to which he gave a huge smile. He also finally said something but I am not sure what it was.  13.1 miles off the bike in 1:51.  More importantly, I think I had a positive impact on someone’s day and life and I hope he knows he touched mine.  It was a simple moment but it spoke volumes.  I always tell people to ‘smile big’ when out pounding the pavement.  Obviously in the middle of a tough workout that is difficult but the point is that folks are watching you.  There are folks sitting on the couch that want to get up and make a change.  There are people overweight that want to know there is a better way.  There are kids that wish they could be out running but instead have to live through those of us that can.  Smile big because when you are out on the streets you are making a difference and have the ability to impact lives.  It doesn’t matter if you are fast or slow, tall or short, skinny or overweight…….people are watching.

“Remember there's no such thing as a small act of kindness. Every act creates a ripple with no logical end.” Scott Adams

My 10 minutes are up.  This was not as coherent as I would have liked but hopefully a little of my point snuck it’s way into the post.  Thanks for reading. Now get out there and make a difference.

Hope Next Exit Three

As I sit down to write this post, I have completed 26.2 miles of the 216.8 Miles for Ryan journey.  Only 190.6 racing miles to go......with another few 1,000 miles to go in training for those races. As I sit down to write this post, I am 49 days from competing in the American River 50 mile run (I specify run because my Mom was confused and thought this was a bike ride until recently) and 128 days from Ironman Coeur d'Alene. Of these two events, it is the AR50 that freaks me out the most. I am a little beat up at the moment. My feet are crazy sore. A bunion that I have on my right foot.....well I have them on both feet but the one on the right is the problem child.......has been really causing me trouble with some foot pain. Beyond that, my training includes a 20+ run every weekend and although I would not say those runs are tough, I would say that I do not feel 25-30 miles of freshness left in my legs when I am finished. I am just sticking with the program, though, and praying it all comes together on race day.  Most importantly, while I sit here writing this post, I have raised almost $11,000 on the way to my $15,000 goal.  $15,000 dollars towards finding a cure for cancer and showing Ryan I care and that the world cares. My fundraising site (link above) does not reflect everything yet but it will in the near future as all of the donations get processed.  My path to reaching the $15,000 goal lies with this raffle.  For those unsure where the Hope Next Exit name came from, it ties to one of the hospital visits my wife and I made on the path to finding a surgeon when cancer knocked on her door a second time. While we sat in the Theater of Good Things To Come (the waiting room), we noticed a pamphlet with the image above.  It seemed appropriate and the name has stuck. At a party to celebrate my wife's second victory against cancer, I launched a raffle to help raise funds.  We raised about $5,000 with that raffle and since then I have raised another $5,000 with the 2nd addition of the raffle. It is now time to kick off the 3rd edition.  I have been working hard to get some prizes.  I either get prizes donated or pay for the prizes myself so that every penny you give towards this raffle is going towards the cause and a cure.  None of your donation will go towards the purchase of the prizes on the list below so donate in confidence.  The way to participate is simple:

One ticket for $20

Three tickets for $50

(e.g. $20 = 1 ticket, $40 = 2 tickets, $50 = 3 tickets, $70 = 4 tickets, $100 = 6 tickets)

You can simply click the link at the top of this page and then click on the 'Donate Now' button

In the donation process, you have the ability to leave a comment.......mention the raffle in your comments although I will assume that donations from this point forward all tie to the raffle if they are in $20 or $50 increments.  Feel free to add some words of encouragement while you are there too!

100% of your donation is tax deductible...you will be mailed a receipt.

If you would rather pay by check, either reply to this post or reach me on FB (Christopher Wilno) or DM me on Twitter (@run2savelives) and I will send you my address.

PRIZES AS OF NOW ARE AS FOLLOWS (RETAIL VALUE APPROX $2,500):

(more prizes are in the works)

HP SPECTRE XT ULTRABOOK COMPUTER

BEATS BY DRE PILL BLUETOOTH SPEAKER

ACER E1-531 NOTEBOOK COMPUTER

KINDLE FIRE HD 7 INCH TABLET (16GB)

MONSTER BEATS HEADPHONES

KINDLE E READER

HP PHOTOSMART E-ALL-IN-ONE PRINTER

LEXMARK S815 GENESIS PRINTER
PUNK ROCK RACING GEAR

HP 12C CALCULATOR

$50 STARBUCKS CARD

$25 AMEX GIFT CARD

AVATAR 3 DISC DVD SET

Some images are below if you are interested. As always, thank you for reading and thank you for your continued support. I have raised a lot of money to fight back against the disease that took my father and attacked my wife and none of it would have happened without you.  I am grateful and humbled.  Please feel free to share this post.  The more money we raise, the closer we are to a cure and sleeping with both eyes closed knowing cancer will not attack us, our mothers, our fathers, our children nor any of our friends and family.

2013 Super Bowl Grids

A huge thank you to everyone that participated in this year's Super Bowl Pool. We were able to sell out two grids and that means $2,000 towards finding a cure for cancer so when you are watching that game and cheering passionately for your score.......know you did a good thing.  Below are the two grids.  If you have any questions, do not hesitate to ask.  We will also be emailing these out to everyone but thought we would post them here in case mid game you realize you lost your email and the printout of your grid.  Just as a reminder.......in case you hate your numbers.........everything is about as random as could possibly be.  We randomly assign 100 numbers to everyone's name and then place the names in the squares accordingly.  From there, of course, the numbers are randomly assigned to represent the score of the game.  Even the teams San Francisco and Baltimore were randomly assigned on the grids.  Good luck to everyone and thanks for joining in the fight to #beatcancer.

A Simple Reminder

I wanted to write a short post to recap a great day……an emotional day but a great one.  In the scheme of what is going on in the world, this certainly is not news worthy but it does reiterate what I sing from the rafters…..that blessings come out of the worst of times. Today my 4 year old, Princess Thalia, had surgery to remove her tonsils and adenoids. It really is a routine surgery but given our past, my wife and I were a little on edge about our daughter being put to sleep and the even harder part about waiting for her to wake up.

Nine and a half years ago, Thalia's older sister never woke up. That horrible day defined me and made me strong and led me to great things but I do not want to be defined again.  I know I would survive.  I know I would lift myself back up.  I just do not want another day like that again.

Anyway, since Thalia was a baby, she sounded like an 80 year old man while sleeping.  This was cute and funny at first. I took video to use against her at her wedding just to capture the moments. After a while though, it kicks in that this is not how a precious little child should sound.  After a while you realize that despite the huge smile on your child’s face when she wakes up (Thalia wears a smile all day long….it lights up the world)………..she is tired.  After a while you notice your child is sick much more often than other kids. After a while, especially given the sensitivity tied to the past, you notice that your child stops breathing every now and then at night.  Sleep apnea is a very stressful thing.  Watching your child literally stop breathing will haunt your dreams and keep you from sleeping. All of these things led us on a path to figure out the problem.  Enlarged tonsils and adenoids were the culprit.  We went from pediatrician to UCLA to scheduling surgery in a short amount of time. All doctors seemed to agree that this is what made sense and, as all parents do, we wanted the best for our child.

Today, January 17^th was the surgery.  There is no need to get into much of the detail about the day.  The basics are this:

·We had made the decision not to tell Thalia too much about what was going to happen. At 4, she would not understand any of it and we felt too much knowledge would stress her out. What she knew was that she was going to be able to watch movies and eat popsicles and eat ice cream for 2 weeks after it was over. That made her happy.

·We arrived at UCLA at 10:30am.  My wife and I were very nervous but we hid all of that and just showed our little one a good time. From the time we arrived to register for surgery until the time the anesthesiologist arrived, we played games and colored and laughed. Inside, my stomach was in knots but it is easy to set that aside and be strong for your child.  I guess we do that for any loved one that is in a similar situation.  I remember doing the same when my Dad was sick.  In front of him I was confident that everything would work out but I would escape to solitude to shed my tears and deal with my fears that he was not going to make it.

·Around 11am, we went back into pre-op and this is where for a brief moment we could see Thalia get nervous.  She watched people being wheeled by on gurney’s and it was easy to read her mind..... “what the hell are they doing to me?  Ice cream cannot be worth all of this”.  We quickly distracted her.  Some nurses came in and dropped off a little princess sized gown for Thalia to wear.  Our little one was being as cute as ever and the staff were all falling in love with her.

·Games continued with Crea and I each taking turns.  When the surgeon came by I took on the task of distracting Thalia so that she did not hear all of the conversation about what was really going down.

·Next the anesthesiologist arrived and explained even more. They were all experienced in dealing with kids and did an amazing job. Thalia’s toughest choice was figuring out what flavor she wanted the gas to be that was going to make her go to sleep or which stickers and Hello Kitty Band-Aids she wanted as rewards for all she was getting ready to go thru. 

·Next it was time for surgery.  Only one of the parents could go with Thalia as she fell asleep so Crea took that shift. Truthfully, Crea is the stronger one for these things so she put on her own gown and off they went……Thalia still all smiles.

·Literally 2 minutes later Crea came back as Thalia had already fallen asleep.  Apparently she got grumpy and tried to fight with the mask at the last second but the medicine did its thing……..off to the waiting room for us.                                                                                   

·Crea and I passed the time with Facebook and Twitter and conversation meant to distract us from the time.  One hour.  That is how long the surgery should last.  If dog years are 6 to 1…….your 4 year old daughter in surgery is 100 to 1.  It felt like forever and Crea even posted to Twitter that this was the longest hour of her life. When the clock struck one hour, I started pacing outside the door and many times thought of calling the number posted on every wall to check on our little girl. 2 minutes late, 3 minutes late………I remember this feeling the first time Crea went to surgery for her cancer.  Things went much slower than planned and I was a mess.  This was no different and my mind raced to all of the horrible things that could go wrong.  Finally, though, the surgeon came out and her smile alerted us that all was well.  Thalia was just waking up and we could go back to see her.

·I really do not think we needed directions to our little princess.  We could hear her crying and raced to her side. She was a mess and not happy at all. She went to sleep with a smile and woke up to an IV and pain. She was scared and it was gut wrenching to see her so upset. We did everything we could to comfort her. I told her it was all over and I promised that Mommy and Daddy would not leave her side again. Nothing seemed to be working. She was very fidgety and we could not tell what was wrong. The doctor gave her some medicine to try and comfort her and also asked her if she wanted to be held and this is where the blessings hit home. I was the lucky one that got to hold Thalia in her time of need. The nurse unraveled all of the cords covering her and brought her over to a chair where Thalia folded into my arms. The world instantly felt right.......for her and for me. She laid her head on my shoulder and within minutes had stopped crying and was asleep. It is tough to describe that level of love and that level of joy.  I have tried to explain it to folks that are not parents yet but it cannot be taught......it can only be felt.  All the fear of the day was gone for both of us. Holding my little girl. Watching her instantly feel better. Feeling her breathing on my chest. I would not trade that feeling for anything.  Thalia is a gift from heaven. I know much of that is a Father's biased opinion but she lights up a room and she lights up my heart. There is something angelic about her and none of that would exist if Isabella had not passed away. Crea and I were going to have two children. Isabella and Jaden would be the two but God had a different plan. The hardest day of my life led to this little girl I held in my arms today.....this little girl that I could not imagine life without.

Thanks for reading.  I hope you can focus on what you have and the blessings around you instead of what you do not have and the hardships that face your life. We are meant to be challenged. Life is not always kind but I do believe that blessings come from out of the darkness.  Today, I was reminded of mine.

5th Annual Super Bowl Pool

It feels like we just watched the Giants win the Super Bowl but a year has passed.  The Giants will not be winning this year but we are back to have some fun and raise some more money to find a cure for cancer.

Every year there is a personal story behind the fundraising. Last year the funds went to support the fundraising of my wife, Crea Wilno, a 2x cancer survivor that was competing in the 2012 Lavaman triathlon.  Thanks to your help, she was able to raise more than $10,000 which earned her a top 10 fundraising spot for the race. This year we are raising funds for Ryan Mattingly. I am racing 216.8 miles for Ryan who in 2012 was diagnosed with Non-Hodgkins Lymphoma........a result of having a kidney transplant at the age of 8 years old. Ryan is now 19 years old and fighting a different battle. You can read all about this story by going scrolling back 2 blog entries or by clicking HERE. In the meantime, we hope you have a blast........we wish you luck.............and please know your proceeds are going to a great cause.

In case you have never participated in a Super Bowl Pool..........it is very easy.  Each pool has 100 boxes that are assigned a number for each team in the Super Bowl.  For each $20 box you play, you will be randomly assigned two numbers........one for the AFC and one for the NFC.  Using last year as an example, you may have been assigned a 4 for New England and a 0 for the NY Giants.  If this were the case you are rooting for any score that has New England ending in a 4 and the Giants ending with a zero (NE 4 - NY 10, NE 24 - NY 0, NE 14 - NY - 30, etc, etc, etc).

The pool is a great way to spice up game day.  As always, half of the pool goes to the winners and half goes to find a cure for cancer via a donation to the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society.  Based off the $20 per box entry fee, $1,000 will be donated to charity and $1,000 will be split as follows:

• 1st Quarter = $125
• Halftime = $250
• 3rd Quarter = $125
• Final Score = $500 

The Super Bowl will be held on February 3, 2013.  We sell out the pools very fast so get in as early as possible.  Last year we actually sold out two pools.

To recap the rules:

* 100 Boxes per pool
* $20 per box to play
* We randomly place you in a box on a 10x10 grid. Each box contains two numbers - one for the AFC champion and one for the NFC champion. If the numbers match the score at the end of each quarter you win! Just to be clear, we literally randomly place your name in the grid and then randomly pull numbers for the grid.  It takes a while but it is the most fair way to do it.

How to pay:

1) Email Lori Jomsky or myelf (we can DM you our email addresses if need be) how many boxes you would like. The more you buy the more chances to win and fight cancer. You can also reach out via FB or Twitter @lj3000 and @run2savelives (me)

2) Give Money directly to Chris or Lori if you happen to know us IRL
3) Mail Check to Lori Jomsky: 4211 Via Entrada, Newbury Park, CA 91320

Thanks! And, Happy New Year!

  

A Short Reflection on 2012: A Big Chapter Closed

I went out for a 90 minute run this morning and tried to get my arms around 2012.  The picture above is how DailyMile captures the past 12 months and there is certainly a story within the miles. The bigger story, though, is outside of the miles and I will get there in a bit. For the workouts that actually made it to DailyMile, I totaled 2,667.19 miles.  Within those totals you could capture the following:

• Only 21.9 miles were from swimming.  This in part is attributed to my hatred of swimming but it also ties to the fact I did not have any races in 2012 which I guess brings us full circle back to my hatred of swimming.  I will always run….whether I have a race or not……but swimming only makes the calendar when it has to.
• The first 3 months of the year were very light from a workout perspective.  This is because my wife, Crea, was doing all the work with Team in Training as she prepared for Lavaman 2012.
• The last 3 months of the year make up close to half of my total miles and if you add one more month, September thru December account for 58% of my total 2012 mileage.  This directly relates to my decision to train in honor of Ryan Mattingly.  I am racing 216.8 miles for this 19 year old who is currently battling Non-Hodgins Lymphoma.  The first 26.2 miles are in the record books so what is left is the American River 50 in April (my first ultra) and Ironman Coeur d’Alene in June.  As I said at my post announcing this plan (216.8 Miles For Ryan), I literally have no time aspirations with these events. My goal is to stay healthy, raise as much money as I can and smile as much as possible on the race course. On that note, if you would like to donate, my fundraising page should be listed above but given some recent technical difficulties, I am listing the link HERE AS WELL.

These items within the miles are the easy things to decipher.  The more challenging things require a look deep within.  What was really important this year? What am I proud of and what am I not proud of?

• What I am most disappointed about is something that is always a point of contention with myself. I struggle to let my important friends know they are important to me.  I go through my busy life hoping they know but I failed to make the proper amount of time to tell them and to show them and to hang out with them. I would say this fault is not necessarily because I am a bad person.  It is because of tough decisions I have to make and you could argue it is because I am a good person…..at least I like to think so.  My family comes first and for the sake of this comment, my family means my immediate family…..wife, son, daughters, Mom, and, of course, my wife’s family. Because they come first, my job has to come first.  My job takes up a big part of my week. My job and the hours I put in are solely with my family in mind.  I do not choose long days because I choose work over family……..I work hard because of my family. The hours that remain during the week are split among actual family time, charity and working out…..the latter two largely go hand in hand. I could come home and go straight to meet friends and get in a run or a swim but that would cost me time actually seeing my family during the week so I make the tough decision to swim on my own after my children go to bed…..hop on the trainer in the middle of the night or before they wake up or hit the streets at those same odd hours to run in the darkness.  This brings us to the weekends.  This is where I must do a better job making time for friends.  I again could work out with the many friends that are running or riding or swimming on Saturday and Sunday but so far, I have not found a way to escape my routine of running very early to complete my long run by 9am or beginning my rides as the sun crests my garage. I stress about starting too late and missing my children’s soccer games or baseball games.  I do not want to be the Dad that has to learn about his children’s milestones via photographs and Facebook updates.  I want to be there for them and this requires tough decisions.  This being said, I do need to manage weekend time better. My friends……….which I still hope they consider me………..are amazing people.  I am better because of them and I need some time with them. 
• I mentioned above my wife competing in Lavaman 2012 as part of Team in Training.  That was a huge moment for my family. My wife stared cancer in the face two times.  On both occasions she came out the victor and this race was a testament to that.  She competed and completed an Olympic triathlon on a very hot day in Kona and, along the way raised over $10,000 and was able to podium as a top 10 fundraiser for the event………..keeping the Wilno streak alive at 4 years for one of us being a top fundraiser.  I could not tell you Crea’s time which shows that your race time is sometimes meaningless.  In my eyes, Crea won the race on April 1, 2012.
• What the miles logged at DailyMile do not show is the hundreds of thousands of dollars the Westside Marathon team raised to beat cancer as part of the Summer 2012 season.  Some remarkable people came into my life.  We taught each other a lot along the way and in June……in either San Diego or Alaska…….these amazing people completed their journey of either 13.1 or 26.2 miles and brought us closer to finding a cure for such a horrible disease.
• Most people know I have raised a lot of money to fight cancer and that I consider myself blessed to be a coach for Team in Training.  What most people do not know is one of the things I am most proud of about my cancer fighting is that I started it all during a time of great personal financial hardship.  I could have walked away from the world and got selfish but I took a different approach and tried to give when I literally had nothing to give.  On this note, a huge part of 2012 for my family was overcoming this chapter of the story.  I did not win the lottery.  I cannot retire tomorrow and travel the world.  I did however end a very long and painful journey that I rarely speak of.  I will not go into much detail here…….I may never go into much detail (perhaps if I write that book)…..but the basics also tie to the story I have shared many times.  It is the story about my Dad and my daughter and my wife. The emotional hardships are well chronicled here but I never speak of the financial hardships surrounding it all.  It is not the medical bills like you might think tied to my Dad being ill or my daughter passing away or my wife being diagnosed with cancer.  Truthfully it is all a blur at times but, in a time of great duress, I made some bad business decisions.  I thought I could fix things and instead made them worse. I had people take advantage of me and I was not in a financial position to fight back with a lawsuit.  At times when people tried to help, the real estate market crashed and made things all that much worse. I also found myself in a position of ‘wanting’ to take care of my Mom.  I am an only child.  My father passing away left her alone to fend for herself without much financial security.  My Dad did a million things right…….this is one situation where he could have done better but I like to think he knew I would find a way.  I specifically say ‘wanting’ here because I need my Mom to know I did not step in to help out of obligation but out of love and appreciation for all the sacrifices she made for me in her life. The short conclusion to all of this is that once upon a time I woke up every day not knowing how I would keep a roof over my family’s head.  I literally thought and often had visions of my family living in a box on the streets of Los Angeles.  At any moment in time, with one tiny wrong move, the bank would come for my house.  I had to borrow from credit cards and get creative so the bank would not even want my house if the time came and I had to seek some help from friends.  I am not talking about $25,000 of credit card debt…….more like half a million problems hanging over my head beyond normal expenses and mortgages.  It took years and years of fighting back.  It took some tough and risky career moves.  It took hope and it took strength and it took an inability to give up. I felt like a failure to my family.  That was the hardest part….looking in the mirror and feeling like I let everyone down. It was tough to live with but all I could do was push forward and this year, I closed the door on the story.  In my own small way, it was the end of the Wilno Rags to Riches story.  It is why I sat in a theater all alone watching The Pursuit of Happyness starring Will Smith.  Times were dark then.  I watched that movie alone and cried my eyes out not knowing where the light at the end of the tunnel would lead my family and I.  My wife could have given up on me.  She did not and I am grateful.  My friends could have turned their back on me.  They did not and while I can financially pay all of them back……..I can never truly repay any of them for their generosity
• Another big event of the year were the struggles of my son, which I talk about in the Post Running from Ritalin.  Second grade was tough.  My son was in the principal’s office every week if not every day.  It was a battle and ultimately my wife had to quit her job…………a tough financial decision but a very easy decision……..to be with Jaden at school every day helping him to see some success.  My son now finds himself in the third grade.  He is not perfect.  He is the quirky kid that struggles socially but he is doing much better. He has a teacher that will allow Jaden to be more of himself rather than try to fit him into a mold of how all 3^rd graders should act.  He has been to the principal’s office one time this year…….just once and that is a huge step forward.  We are not out of the woods.  My son is crazy smart but still has focus issues.  As a wise friend once told me though……it is not as if  he is just drifting in class……..it is that he is fully present elsewhere.

The year was full of many other special and precious moments.  It would take a book to list them all so I am going to cut off this post for now.  To all of those a part of my life in 2012……..in real life or virtually……..I am grateful for you…..truly grateful.   It is now on to 2013 where I want to be a better person, a better Dad, a better friend, a better cancer fighter, a better employee (although I do pretty good here boss!), a better inspiration to others, a better motivator, a better trail runner, a better s’more maker.  I hope 2013 is everything you want and hope for. In sharing this wish, I must also tell you this………behind want and hope has to come a lot of drive and hard work and goal setting.  What you have accomplished through 12/31/2012 has no bearing on what you can accomplish in 2013.  Set your goals very high.  Set out to achieve what you want…….not what you think you are capable of.  If I can help you, reach out to me because I will do everything I can to try and make a difference.

216.8 Miles For Ryan

IF THE LINK ABOVE IS NOT WORKING, PLEASE CLICK HERE FOR MY DONATION PAGE

My story guides me on a daily basis.  It will always be in my heart so this time I train for someone else………

216.8 miles for Ryan Mattingly.

I preface the rest of this post to say a successful journey here is critical.  I have come to you asking for support 11 prior times and you have all helped me to reach each and every goal.  You might think success on eleven occasions takes the pressure off for number 12 but I feel more pressure for this endeavor than ever before. Ryan is watching. He knows this is for him.  I must succeed.  Help me show him the world cares by considering a donation at the link above. Now to the rest of this post...........

Most of you know my story especially if you are here at my site (and didn’t overlook the header).  I actually started this blog when my wife was diagnosed with cancer for the 2^nd time.  I needed a voice and I felt being open about my story might help others to get through their own difficult times. In case you missed the header and/or this is the first post you are reading, my story began in September 2002 when my father was diagnosed with leukemia.  He fought for sixteen months but ultimately lost his battle.  During his battle, my daughter Isabella passed away at birth and shortly after my father lost his battle, my wife was diagnosed with cancer for the 1^st time while pregnant with my son Jaden. These events were very difficult. Just when I would get my footing from one piece of bad news, something else would go horribly wrong. While I miss my father and daughter terribly and while I still sleep with one eye open tied to the cancer that knocked on my family’s door twice, so many good things came out of these dark times.  I always use the quote “Strength is born in the deep silence of long suffering hearts” from Arthur Helps to describe my transition from pre Isabella to the person I am today. My hardships defined me.  They built me. They led me to endurance sports. They led me to being a #beatcancer warrior where I will battle until my last breath. The led me to teach,  motivate and hopefully inspire others which is something I consider a blessing for me much more than I view it as a blessing for those I help.  None of these things would exist if I had not lost so much. 

Most of you also know my philosophy on life but in case you do not, the short list is as follows:

·Blessings come from the worst of times

·As individuals we all have the ability to change the world and if we, as individuals ban together, changing the world is inevitable.

·Running and endurance sports will change your life.

·Doing things for others is far better than the opposite.

·UCLA > USC (I had to sneak that in……I am sure I just lost a few donations but I found it funny).

·Staring doubt in the face and shoving it aside is one of the best feelings on the planet (coincidentally shoving doubt aside is a big part of running and endurance sports).

·Wherever we find ourselves in life, be it a grand place or a dark place, that is where we are meant to be. We must do our best to savor and learn from every experience for it is a stepping stone to who we become.

·We must live our lives so that our legacy goes on far after we are gone.

·If we are still breathing we have not yet accomplished all we are meant to accomplish.

Ryan (right) with Katie (obvious) and brother Daniel

Because I am still breathing and because we still have progress to make in the war against cancer, I come to you with my latest stop on the #beatcancer tour.  I first joined Team in Training in 2004.  I wanted to complete a marathon because it was a gesture to my father who, at that point in time, was terminal.  It was a gesture because I was afraid of running a marathon. It scared the hell out of me and my Dad was a stare fear in the face kind of guy.  I thought my journey would end after one marathon but here we are in 2012.  I have gone on to complete a total of 11 events with Team in Training from half marathon to Century rides to 3 Ironman distance triathlons.  More important……..to me……..is that I have gone on to coach marathon for many seasons at Team in Training where my collective teams have literally raised millions of dollars towards cancer research.  This ties to my belief about living your life to build a legacy. As a coach, I get to teach people all they are capable of and they get to challenge me to be a better person. People I have coached have gone on to do amazing things well beyond our season together and that is the one thing I am most proud of.  I have changed lives and within Team in Training have built something that will grow and sustain itself as people continue to come back season after season.  If I died tomorrow, that would be my legacy.  As for this stage of the journey, I am not trying to outdo myself.  I only have one goal and that is to raise $15,000 by June 2013 as I race 216.8 miles over 3 different events:

·California International Marathon on December 2, 2012 followed by,

·American River 50 Mile Endurance Run on April 6, 2012 closing it out with,

·Ironman Coeur d’Alene on June 23, 2013

·26.2 + 50 + 140.6 = $15,000

I have no time goals.  Finishing all three events is the goal which, for me, has meant a complete change to the way I train and frankly the way I live.  It started back in the Spring of 2012 when I started thinking about this next endeavor.  Over the years I have had many stress fractures in my shins and feet.  I firmly believe these were tied to the way my foot strikes the ground when I run.  I am (scratch that….was) a severe heel striker.  It was so severe that I believe the impact over the miles was causing the injuries.  In looking ahead last Spring, I did not believe I would ever make it to the start of a 50 mile run if I maintained the heel strike so I changed it.  It was not easy for me but I started moving to a mid foot strike because it creates so much less impact.  Sounds fairly simple but the change wreaked havoc on my body.  My knees were not used to the change and I dealt with months of transitional pain.  I pushed forward and didn’t give in and ultimately that pain passed.  When it did, horrible back pain ensued all just because of the transition.  I spent many sessions in a chiropractors office but I did not give in and ultimately it passed.  Today I have some severe foot pain when I clear 20 miles but I am trying to work through this too (might make the marathon challenging).  Beyond the change to my running gait, I have moved to training by HR and I have completely changed my diet.  I will go into detail in another post but I had a horrible HR test that lead to these changes which forced me to slow down and forced me to eat much better.  The days of eating a pint of Ben and Jerry’s before bed because my metabolism allowed it are behind me although I have to sneak in half a pint now and then just so I don’t get bored of myself.  I am making all of these changes to make sure I get to the start line of each event and cross the finish line of all three culminating with the Ironman next June.  My goal for that race…..celebrate successfully raising $15,000, pray like hell to celebrate a healthy Ryan and high five 140.6 kids along the course.

Now let me tell you a little bit about Ryan.

Ryan (right) and best friend Gabriel who shaved his head out of friendship

·He is 19 years old.

·Ryan loves sports.

·Ryan completed his 1^st year of college at San Diego State this past May 2012.

·From April until now, Ryan has been admitted to the hospital 12 times.

·Ryan is currently fighting Non Hodgkins Lymphoma instead of attending his 2^nd year of college.

·I have never met Ryan!

That last bullet might be shocking for some.  Even Ryan questioned why I would do all of this for someone I have never met.  The answer is easy for me…..

“Dare to reach out your hand into the darkness, to pull another hand into the light.”  Norman B. Rice

It is what we all need to do.  Reach out our hand to help someone in need.  You see I know Ryan’s Mom and I assure you I will meet Ryan soon enough.  I had a chance recently but have been sick and did not want to expose Ryan to anything I might be carrying.  I learned this lesson plenty when my Dad was fighting for his own life.

You see, Katie Mattingly was on my Summer 2012 Marathon team.  We met at an information meeting where I was there to speak on behalf of the marathon team.  Katie showed up a ball of energy and I could tell our team would be better off with her than without her.  Good souls scream out and Katie is one of the best souls.  She signed up to be on the team and committed to the San Diego Rock N Roll Half Marathon in June 2012.  Katie did an amazing job.  She did everything we asked of her and I think the life lessons and messages got through as well.  One of these ties to pushing yourself beyond what you think you are capable of which is a message we discuss when I try to convince those signed up for the half marathon to do the full marathon.  Do not get me wrong……….I am proud of EVERYONE crossing the finish line.  There are plenty of reasons to do the half marathon versus the full but I always tell my teammates this………….if you are signed up for the half ONLY because you doubt your capability of finishing the full…..for the love of God trust me and switch to the full and together lets shatter your perceptions about yourself.

Katie listened.  She switched and on June 3, 2012, she completed the full marathon in San Diego.  A few weeks before race day, though, Katie was very emotional at our Sunday practice.  Truthfully, this isn’t that uncommon as race day gets closer but something was off and I reached out to Katie to see what was wrong.  Katie was a mess because her son, Ryan of course, was away at school and not feeling well at all.  Ryan was having cramps, vomiting and losing a lot of weight among many other symptoms we do not need to discuss.  Any parent would be upset at this but there is more to the story that led to Katie’s distress.

I write about all of this at my fundraising page but when Ryan was 5 years old, some routine tests turned into the discovery that Ryan only had one kidney and, unfortunately, that single kidney was not functioning so well. This normal boy learned so very early in his life that he had kidney disease and would need a transplant in order to live.  At 5, he was too young for the transplant so the surgery did not transpire until Ryan was 8 years old.  His Dad was the donor and the surgery went well.  One year post operation, Ryan was doing great.  He was living a fairly normal life except for all the routine checkups that go with being a donor recipient.  He went on to be a normal teenager and went on to high school and was even good enough to play baseball all 4 years (I am jealous Ryan!).

Katie (always smiling) and Ryan

After high school, Ryan was accepted to San Diego State where he began college in the fall of 2011.  There was some nervousness about Ryan being a few hours away from home given his kidney transplant but Katie had commissioned an army of help in San Diego that was aware of Ryan’s situation and capable of helping.  Every two months Ryan would have to come home to Los Angeles for more of those routine checkups to make sure the transplant was all good and that the kidney was functioning properly.  All was actually good until the Spring of 2012 which leads us to the Sunday when Katie was upset at practice.  Ryan had been complaining about not feeling well tied to the symptoms I mentioned above (cramps, vomiting, weight loss) but things got worse in April 2012 when Ryan began to vomit blood.  This led to Ryan’s first visit to the ER.  As you would expect, a lot of tests were performed to determine the source of the blood. No ulcers were initially found.  A colonoscopy did not reveal any problems and lastly an MRI was performed but also showed nothing.  The source of Ryan not feeling well was yet to be determined.  The next step in the process was a capsule endoscopy, which meant Ryan swallowed a small pill that actually contained a camera to record images of his digestive tract.  This ultimately led to the discovery of a lot of small ulcers in Ryan’s small intestine.  While this was not great news……. it was still news and there was some relief at the mystery being solved.  The hope was that the ulcers tied back to the medicine Ryan had to take for his transplant because one of them was known to do so. Ryan was allowed to finish school before dealing with the situation and in May 2012 Ryan completed his first year of college.

After this, Ryan came back home but he was not feeling so well.  He was still sick. He was still losing weight. He was still vomiting. Because things were not improving, doctors went in and took a biopsy of one of the ulcers and this is when the picture took a turn for the worse.

Cancer was the diagnosis.  To be exact, it was a form of Non Hodkin’s Lymphoma called PTLD – Post Transplant Lymphoproliferative Disorder.  All you need to know is CANCER.  At nineteen, having survived a kidney transplant was not enough.  To be honest, this diagnosis ties back to the transplant years ago. Less than 2% of kidney transplant recipients get cancer and Ryan unfortunately was one of the few. Cancer knocked on Ryan’s door and all that goes with that diagnosis is still in process as I write this post. My kids are lying behind me on the bed watching Step Up Revolution while Ryan is fighting for his life.  I do not know what you were doing on Friday November 16^th but I can tell you Ryan was in the hospital for his 4^th round of chemo.  As if cancer was not enough to deal with, the chemo actually worked so well initially that it melted the cancer.  While this is good in some respects, it caused an obstruction in Ryan’s bowel, which made it impossible for Ryan to eat.  Because of this, one of those 12 hospital visits between April and now was used on surgery to remove parts of Ryan’s bowel. 

I will update you over the next few months as to the progress of Ryan.  I will document his story here.  I will be his voice.  In the meantime, while Ryan goes in for his 5^th round of chemo, I will run.  While Ryan fights for his life, I will swim and I will bike and I will lift weights and I will work my core so that I might actually finish these 216.8 miles in his honor.  Won’t you please join me on this journey and help me reach my $15,000 goal.  This is where I need your help.  I will put in the miles.  I will handle the racing.  I will deal with the aches and pains and sweat and tears.  I need you to join me though.  My goal is lofty but as I said above, I believe we can all make a difference and change the world.  Let us change the world together and what better change than finding a cure for cancer.  Let’s make sure Ryan knows we care and lets make sure our kid’s kids only get to learn about cancer from the history books.

If you would like to make a donation, you can click here or click the link at the top of the page to go to my donation page.  As I write this, I am close to $4,100…….$10,900 to go.  Whether you can financially assist or not, I appreciate the support more than you know.  All the kind words that have come in mean so much and will help drive me to the next 3 finish lines.  They are special places because that is where I meet up with my Dad and Isabella.  I would like to meet them having completed a successful journey so please consider helping and please help spread the word by sharing this post.

Thanks so much for your time in reading more of my long winded prose.   Until my next post or until we meet in person next, live your life with passion and go make a difference.

Christopher D. Wilno